have sexThe universe of sexuality is very broad and, although we still have a lot to learn, it is becoming better known as time goes by, as we advance in accepting sexual freedom and begin to live in harmony with it. There are different sexual orientations that range from heterosexuality, to homosexuality, asexuality, bisexuality and, now, demisexuality comes into the picture. But, what is demisexuality? Perhaps as you read this article you even have doubts about whether you yourself are a demisexual person.
Many people are discovering details about themselves, about their way of feeling, exploring and living emotional and sexual aspects in a way that may be different to how the majority do but that, in any case, are just as valid as others.
In this article we will explain what is demisexuality, the characteristics that define and differentiate it with respect to other orientations and what are the difficulties that demisexual people can face.
An almost unknown sexual orientation: demisexuality
We often hear about homosexuality, bisexuality and, of course, heterosexuality. Sometimes we hear conversations about another rare orientation that also goes almost unnoticed: asexuality or those people who do not feel any attraction to sex. And now, demisexuality is the new word that you will surely begin to hear a lot and, after reading this post, you will know what it means.
For demisexual people, the emotional connection or the sentimental bond with a person is essential for sexual attraction to arise. Be careful, we are not talking about love, but about sexual attraction. This means that in demisexuals there will never be a crush, there will be no love at first sight, nor will it be possible to “here I catch you, here I kill you”, so common in our times. There is nothing bad or good about this, and it is a trend like any other, neither better nor worse, although it does have some “pros” and some “cons”, depending on how you look at it, like everything.
The need for prior link
Imagine going to a club with your friends and meeting a group of girls and boys. Among today's young people, it is not unusual that on the same night they are already fooling around with each other and with aspirations of taking one of the people from the newly met group to the garden. This would be unthinkable for a demisexual, because they simply do not have that attraction. For sexual desire to be born, a sentimental bond must first have been born between the two.
Something similar to the thought that before reaching something more, even if it's just a friction, they need to be friends. But with the difference that this need for a prior bond is not an excuse or that refusal to have sex with the other person is not due to modesty or moral prejudices, but because their body and mind do not really experience any sexual drive at first sight. .
We know that this is not the most common and that, regardless of how quickly or slowly each one wants to take their relationships to the next level, it is natural that we feel sexual attraction towards a stranger, because physically or some quality that is It sneaks into our subconscious, it is attractive to us, with greater or lesser intensity. Demisexuals never experience this.
Time is money, for demisexual people
Time is money but not because it passes quickly, quite the opposite. Demisexual people will need to go slowly, until they know the person enough for trust and friendship or complicity to emerge. Then yes, they will be able to begin to feel physical attraction, sexual desire and live their sexuality to the fullest, like the rest do.
Let's not confuse demisexual with asexual
Demisexuals have long been confused with asexuals, but they are not the same. As we have just explained, Demisexuals do feel sexual desire, but this one is born when you already have complicity with the other person.
It must also be clarified that demisexual people can feel attraction towards people of one sex or the other, that is, it can occur between homosexual people and between hetero people without distinction. You can be a hetero demisexual, a homo demisexual or a bisexual demisexual.
How to deal with the fact that I am demisexual
If you discovered that you are demisexual, maybe you have some doubts and concerns or know someone who is going through this process and feels a little lost. Be clear that demisexuality is acceptable and that no one has to interfere with your way of feeling, feeling, and getting excited.
In reality, you don't need to explain to anyone about how you lead your intimate life and you are free to have sex whenever you feel like it, if you feel like it, or not to have it, if you don't feel like doing it.
There are many prejudices and preconceived ideas about whether it is okay to lose your virginity early or it is better to do it late, whether it is advisable to keep yourself pure until marriage or what private relationships between people should be like. However, only you know yourself well and what your needs are. Don't let anyone try to convince you of anything else.
have sex It's okay, but not having it, too. Sex for love is acceptable, as is sex without love for pure pleasure. Crushes and loves at first sight can be magical, but so is witnessing the birth of an intimate connection and feeling how that sexual desire is born little by little.
No one should set your rhythms, only yourself. No one has the right to judge what you feel, how you get aroused or whether you do it or not. Just because you want it that way you have to explain how your libido works. Because sexuality, like romantic relationships, only concerns you.
Now you know a little what is demisexuality and we encourage you to make it known, share this article if you found it interesting and make more visible that demisexuality is something normal, everyday and beautiful.