Amagama "umtshato ngaphandle kwesondo" iba lelinye lawona mabinzana akhangelwe kwi-intanethi. Yinto eyenzekayo kwaye sele ibonakalisiwe njengenyaniso, kuba izibini ezininzi azinikezeli kolo hlobo lwemicimbi de zibandakanyeke kuwo. Ukungathandabuzeki kukuba izibini ezifumana amava ziza kubuza ukuba ngaba Olu hlobo lweemeko lubeka ubomi bakho bobulili okanye umtshato emngciphekweni.
Ukuxabisa le nkcukacha ngakumbi, kuye kwenzeka ukuvavanya ukuba le yinyani egcwele ngokupheleleyo. Impendulo, ngaphambi kokuthandabuza, ikwisaveyi kwaye kwafunyaniswa ukuba I-12% yezibini kubudlelwane obuzinzileyo khange babelane ngesondo kwiinyanga ezi-3 ezidlulileyo. Kwakukho enye i-20% engazange yalala ngesondo unyaka okanye njalo.
Ngaba ezi datha ziyatyhila? Ngaba yinyani ekhathaza ngakumbi nangakumbi? okanye ibisoloko ikho? Impendulo ayilula. Ezinye iingcali ziza kumxholo wokuba Ukungabelani ngesondo phakathi kwamaqabane kukhokelela kwizibini ezitshatileyo. Abanye bakholelwa ukuba ukhetho lokugcina olu hlobo lobudlelwane luphawulwe ngendlela esebenzayo kunye neyobuqu phakathi kwamadoda nabafazi. Ukusuka kweli nqanaba elowo wenza ngokwesantya sakhe.
Kutheni umtshato ukhona ngaphandle kwesondo?
Ngekota ngokubanzi Olu hlobo lweemeko luhlala luvela xa omabini amaqabane efikelela kwiminyaka engama-40 ubudala. Nangona zininzi izinto ezinokubangela isimilo esinjalo. Akunyanzelekanga ukuba ufikelele kuloo minyaka ukuze ubekhona, kunye nezibini ezininzi misela ukuzibophelela ngokuba nenzala kwaye ngenxa yoko wenze enye indlela yokuphila. Olu hlobo lwesigqibo lubandakanya amanye amalungelo kunye nokuziphatha kunye namaqabane abo, abantwana apha bathatha ukubalasela.
Kukho ezinye izinto ezibangela ukuba ungabelani ngesondo. Ukunqongophala konxibelelwano, ukungabikho komnqweno, iingxaki zempilo, amaxhala, uxinzelelo, ukuya exesheni… kulula ukubeka ubomi bakho ngokwesondo ecaleni kwezi zinto. Kubalulekile ukuba kubekho unxibelelwano kwaye uthethe ngemeko enjalo.
Nangona kunjalo, kwaye njengengcebiso, ukuba kunokwenzeka ukuba omnye wabo azame ukugcina ubudlelwane kwaye omnye umntu akasebenzisani, ungakulinge ucenge iqabane lakho, musa ukubonisa umsindo omkhulu okanye unxunguphalo. Oku kunokuqhubeka kuyenza mandundu imeko.
Xa kunengxaki phakathi kwamaqela omabini?
Ingxaki ikhona xa usazi ukuba ingxaki ikhona kwaye uyathula. Kunzima ukuzenza ngathi uyathetha kwaye uyiveze, kodwa uhlala kufuneka uzame ukuzibeka kwimeko yomnye umntu.
Kuvela ingxaki xa ukuthetha kungathandwa kwaye umntu akazami ukuthetha ngeminqweno yakhe, iinjongo zakho, ucinga ntoni okanye ufuna ntoni. Kulapho ke ukungathembeki kuza okoko umntu ochaphazelekayo ethethelela ukuba akasaziva enqweneleka, ugqibela ngokuthatha olu hlobo lwenjongo kwaye aphele esophula ubudlelwane
Ngaba umtshato ongabelani ngesondo wonwabile?
Nangona kubonakala ngathi ayinakwenzeka okanye ayiqondakali Uninzi lwabantu abatshatileyo abakule ndawo bonwabile. Olu hlobo lwezibini Bayasinda ukuqala ngentlonipho kwaye bajonge ezinye iindlela ezizezinye. Into ebalulekileyo nephambili kukusungula unxibelelwano olunzulu, olunyanisekileyo nolungqalileyo malunga nomxholo kwaye ungalushiyi njengesihloko.
Ezi ntlobo zezibini ziyakonwabela ukuchitha ixesha lazo zisenza ezinye iintlobo zemisebenzi njengokuhamba, ukuphuma kunye nokwabelana ngamaxesha osondeleyo, ukunxibelelana nendalo, ukuphuma uye kwisidlo sangokuhlwa, ukuhlala nemihla ngemihla nabantwana bakho, njl.
Abanye abantu abatshatileyo bonwabile banobomi obunqabileyo bezesondo. Uninzi lwabo labelana ngesondo kube kanye ngonyaka ukubhiyozela isikhumbuzo, kwaye ngenxa yoko baziva bonelisekile ngakumbi kunabo bahlala ngokwesondo ngaphandle kokuziva nantoni na. Kungenxa yoko le nto iingcali ziluthathela ingqalelo olu hlobo lokuziqhelanisa ngokuxhomekeke kwindawo abayithatha njengesiqhelo "ukulala nomntu. Njengoko Awungekhe uthethe ngamatyeli aliqela olala nawo kwaye umntu ngamnye wahlukile.
Ingxaki ihlala khona xa kukho ukusilela kokudibana phakathi kolwalamano. Ukuba elinye lamaqela ligqiba ekubeni nobudlelwane ngakumbi neqabane lalo kwaye kukho ukungangqinelani, kunokubakho ukunqunyulwa kwaye kungoko kungquzulwano.
Ukuba ufuna ukutshintsha, ngumcimbi wexesha kunye nomzamo
Xa ubushushu besenzo buthotyiwe okanye sele bungekho kunokubakho uxhathiso olukhulu ekuthatheni olo lwalamano kwakhona. Phakathi kwezi zibini, amaxesha osondeleyo, ukwanga kunye nokucinywa kulahlekile kwiimeko ezininzi kwaye ukuthatha ezi zenzo kwakhona kunokuchazwa gwenxa.
Ukuzama ukoyikisa iqabane lakho kunokungonwabi kwaye kungcono ukuba ivele kwaye ivele ngokuzenzekelayo, ngaphandle kokuya kwinqanaba ngqo. Kuya kufuneka uzame ukuphakamisa ithoni ngendlela ebonakalayo okanye ukwanga okunomdla, kodwa ubuncinci uzame.
Yimeko enzima ukuthatha kwakhona ukusukela uninzi lwabantu abatshatileyo sele beqhele ukuhlala ngaphandle kwesondo kwaye abasaphoswa. Ngokuqinisekileyo bafikelele kwisigqibo sokuba bangabonwabela ubomi babo ngaphandle kwesondo, into engafaniyo nokuba nengxaki, kwaye bayayivuma imeko yabo. Olu hlobo lwabantu kuhlala kunjalo kwaye kuhlala ngaphakathi kwesangqa se-asexuals , ngaphandle kokubeka phambili isondo.