Sonke besinomlingani onobudlelwano obugcine ngokuhlukana futhi bekungasebenzi. Esimweni esinjalo, buyisana ne-ex yakho Omunye kungaba umqondo omuhle ngokuya ngomongo wokwehlukana nobuntu bakho. Obunye ubudlelwano bezothando benza izimanga esiwombeni sesibili, kepha abanye bathambekele ekubhekaneni nesimo esibi ukwedlula isiphetho sokuqala.
Ngakho-ke, sizokutshela ukuthi isayensi ithini, izinzuzo nobubi bokubuyelana ne-ex yakho.
Izinzuzo zokubuyelana ne-ex yakho
Abanye ochwepheshe bahlole izinzuzo zokubuyisana nowawushade naye esimweni samanje. Uma bengomunye walabo abazama ukuzama futhi, kungenxa yokuthi babejabule. Ngaphandle kokuthi budlelwane obukhathazayo, obungenampilo lapho ubulokhu ulwa khona futhi ubuya, kungenxa yokuthi kukhona ubudlelwane obunobuthi. Kodwa-ke, uma ubudlelwane bube buhle kakhulu futhi kukhona uthando nokuqonda, kungahle kube khona okwesibili. Noma kunjalo, kungenzeka lingabi khona ithuba lesithathu.
Uma bethatha isinqumo sokubuyisa ubudlelwano, ngeke badlule enqubweni ejwayelekile yokuthola lokho abanye abakuthandayo, kungaba embhedeni noma empilweni yabo yansuku zonke ngaphandle kocansi. Cha, awusadingi ukuqagela ukuthi yini indawo yokudlela ayithandayo noma ukuthi yini akuzondayo okwenzayo. Ngeke uphuthelwe isipho sokuqala seminyaka yokuqala yomjikelezo wesibili. Manje, le mibuzo esemqoka kufanele ibuzwe ngaphambi kokuthi ubuyele emuva. Ukubuyela kokukodwa kungaba kushuba ngokwengeziwe ngokwesayensi. Kulabo asebeke bahlangabezana nalesi simo basho lokho inothando kakhulu futhi inocansi kakhulu. Lokhu kuvame ukwenzeka ngoba amahomoni athile ayasebenza njengoba kwenzeka uma wenza ucansi lokwakheka, okuvame ukuba nesihluku ngemuva kwempi.
Konke lokhu kuhlobene nenqubo yamakhemikhali ebuchosheni eyenza abathandi bazizwe bevuseleleka ngokuthola kabusha okuthile ababebonakala belahlekile. Enye yezinzuzo zokubuyelana ne-ex yakho ukuthi ngeke wenze amaphutha afanayo.
Ukubuyela kumlingani wakho wangaphambilini kungukuziphatha okuvuthiwe, okukhombisa ukuthi kungenzeka ukuthi ukulungele ukuthatha izinyathelo zokuzinza. Uma isizathu sekhefu lokugcina sicacile, nakanjani ngeke baphinde benze iphutha elifanayo futhi ubudlelwano buzoba obala kakhulu futhi buzozwana. "Labo abangawuqondi umlando bahloselwe ukuphinda amaphutha afanayo" le nkulumo inencazelo entsha emkhakheni wothando. Vele, kulokhu indaba yakho ingajabula, igcwele uthando nezocansi, ngaphandle kwezingxabano, kubangele ukuthi baphinde babuye baqhubeke nokukhumbula futhi.
Uma uzizwa ungakhululekile ngabangane abathile abahlala ndawonye ngemuva kokwehlukana, isimo sizothuthuka futhi iqembu elifanayo labangane bakudala lizohlangana futhi. Yebo, ngeke kudingeke uphinde ubuyisele abazali bakho nabangane kubalingani abasha.
Ububi bokubuyelana ne-ex yakho
Njengoba nje ungaba nezinzuzo eziningana njengalezi esizishilo, kungahle kube nokubi okuthile. Ososayensi nabo bafunde le ngxenye ukuthola omunye umbono. Ukusabela kokuncika kubangelwa ingxube ye-dopamine ne-oxytocin. Yisizathu se-neural esihlobene nomuntu obuyela ebuhlotsheni obuvela esikhathini esedlule. Ukubuyela emuva nge-ex yakho kusho ukuthi ungancika kulezi zinhlobo zezinto bese kwenziwa umjikelezo ononya.
Kungenzeka futhi ukuthi isipiliyoni asifani. Kwesinye isikhathi lapho izithandani zibuya ngemuva kokwehlukana, kungahle kube ngenxa yesifiso noma umbono wendaba ukuthi bebehlala ndawonye kepha kungenjalo. Ngakho-ke, kungukuthi imibhangqwana eminingi izama ukuqhubeka futhi. Inkinga ukuthi lokhu kuthambekela kokucabanga ukuthi izinto zazinhle kakhulu kungavela ukukhungatheka okulindelwe okungasebenzeli ukuhlangabezana. Futhi ngukuthi bobabili bangaba nezinye izinto abazithandayo, ukuthi bashintshe ifilosofi yabo yempilo noma ukuthi vele basivele basiqonda njengoba babenza ngaphambili. Lokhu kubuyela ekubeni nobudlelwano bekhwalithi ephansi futhi.
Kufanele umake ukuthi kungenzeka yini uhlangane nomunye umuntu. Futhi ukuthi uma ubuyela emuva ne-ex yakho ulahlekelwa ithuba lokuhlangana nomunye umuntu. Iqiniso lokuphinda ubuhlobo likhombisa ukuthi uvala umnyango wokwazi okuthile okusha futhi unciphise izinketho zakho. Kwesinye isikhathi kunzima ukuphuma endaweni yokunethezeka, kepha abantu abaningi babuya benobudlelwano obufanayo kusukela Abazethembi futhi vele banokuthile okuqinisekisiwe.
Enye yezingqinamba ezinkulu, lokhu kungagcina kubi kakhulu. Uma ufuna ukubuyelana ne-ex yakho, kungenxa yokuthi abagcinanga ngokuba yizitha. Kodwa-ke, lapho uphinda ube ngumbhangqwana, indaba kungenzeka ingabi yinhle ekugcineni. Bangazondana. Ithuba lokuthi izinto zizophela kabi kakhulu ngomunye umehluko omkhulu obuya ne-ex.
Isiphetho ngesayensi
Ucwaningo olwenziwe yisayensi lokuthi ngabe kulula yini ukubuyelana nowawushade naye lukhombisa ukuthi kungenzeka ngokuphelele ukuzwa uthando lwangempela kowayezwana naye futhi uqale kabusha ezothando lapho ugcine khona. Khumbula ukuthi isayensi ithi isikhathi eside Umbhangqwana onothando kufanele uhlukaniswe isikhathi esiyizinyanga eziyisithupha.
Izibalo zikhomba ukuthi ngaphezu kwengxenye yesithathu yobudlelwano obuphelayo buzonikezwa ithuba lesibili ngesikhathi esithile. Imvamisa kuthiwa izinto zizohluka okwesibili bese kwenziwa imizamo yokuthuthukisa nokulungisa wonke amaphutha esikhathi esedlule. Ithemba lihlobene nesikhathi esitshalwe ebudlelwaneni nobuvila ekufuneni ukuthola omunye umlingani omusha. Futhi zivikelwe ekubhekaneni nezinsizakusebenza ezingokomzwelo ezaziwayo.
Njengoba ukwazi ukubona, kufanele uhlaziye ngokucophelela ukuphela nokuqala kokwehlukana kwemibhangqwana ukuze wazi ukuthi kungakuhle yini ukuthi ubuyelane ne-ex yakho.