Uthando luhlala luyindlela yokuqala yokugxila ezimpilweni zabantu abaningi. Umzimba ujwayela ukungashadi, kodwa ikhanda lakho liyazi ukuthi lidinga lokho kuthandana, inkampani yomunye umuntu. Kepha kunamathuba amaningi ahlinzekwayo ukuthola umaqondana, nokuningi ngobuchwepheshe obusha, obusiza kakhulu.
Ukufuna umlingani yisihloko esiduduzayo nesikwenza ucabange futhi ngokukhohlisa, kepha ngakolunye uhlangothi kuyadumaza futhi kuyadikibala. Kungakho kungcono ukubhekana nalesi sifiso ngendlela engathathi hlangothi, ngaphandle kokuphazamiseka, noma ukushesha, noma izingqinamba. Ukucindezela ngokwengeziwe isikhathi sokufuna umlingani, lapho kubonakala kunzima kakhulu kithi.
Ingabe ukuthola umaqondana kuyinkimbinkimbi noma cha?
Masingakuthwali ukukhathazeka. Kungaba yinkimbinkimbi ukuthola amathuba amaningi wabesifazane abanokwedelela okufanayo, futhi impela siyakwenza. Kepha ngokwenza lokho kungasho ukuthi, phakathi kwakho konke lokhu kubekwa, angafiki ephephile futhi angasebenzi ngendlela efanele. Leli qiniso akumele libekwe emikhawulweni yamathuba ethu, iqiniso elivela kaningi.
Dicen que into yokuqala ukuthola umaqondana ukuyeka ukumfuna, kodwa kuyinto ebonakala ingamanga ngempela. Kufanele uhlale ugxile futhi uvule amathuba okuthola uthando, kepha ngaphandle kokuyidinga kuqala. Kufanele futhi ucabange ngesidingo sokuzizwa kahle, ukujabulela ukuba nesizungu, nethuba lokuzijabulisa nanoma ngubani omfunayo.
Kungani singamtholi umaqondana?
Indawo yethu yokududuza Kwenze abaningi bethu baba nemindeni nabangane bethu abaseduze kakhulu embuthanweni wethu osondele kakhulu, abaningi babo nabalingani babo. Asisadluli imingcele futhi asikwazi ukuphuma ukuyobhekana nokuthile okusobala futhi okungokwemvelo, ngoba kusivalela amahloni nenduduzo.
Ukungabi nesikhathi kungenye isithiyo okuqhubeka kuholele kulesi simo. Singayithola nakwezinye izindawo futhi kuyindlela yethu yokuzidela yokufuna umlingani, kungaba ngu sigcine isimo sethu senhlalo noma sizizwe silimele ngokuhlukana kwezothando kwakamuva. Lezi zihloko zingatholakala ku- indlela yokuthola ukwehlukana o ungakhohlwa kanjani nge-ex yakho.
Elinye iphuzu eliyinhloko eliphikisana nalesi sinqumo ukungazethembi. Ngaphandle kokufuna ukuphuma, noma ukuhlangana nabantu, kunzima kakhulu ukuthi isiphakamiso sokuthola umlingani sibe ngesoqobo. Uma ungathandi impilo yamabha njalo Ungajoyina ama-gyms noma amaqembu abantu lapho benza khona ukuvakasha, uhambo noma ukuvakashelwa kwamasiko, Nginesiqiniseko sokuthi kule mihlangano uzohlangana nabantu abangenakubalwa abathakazelisa kakhulu futhi ngendlela yomuntu siqu.
Ngingamthola kanjani umaqondana?
Ukufuna uzakwethu noma ukufuna umuntu ozohlanganyela naye akufani. Iqiniso lokufuna ukuthola umuntu ozohlanganyela naye impilo yakho kuyinto ebucayiNgakho-ke, kungumqondo wokuthi kufanele ukalwe ngokuqinile. Kumele sazi ukuthi sikulungele futhi sazi ukuthi ngeke sithuke.
Kumele siphume endlini futhi sibe nalelo phuzu lokuzithoba. Kufanele uphume nabangani nomndeni, nabantu osebenza nabo futhi ukhathazeke ngokuhlangana nabantu abasha. Zama ukuya ezindaweni lapho kutholakala khona kabusha ukuthola ubuso obusha futhi indawo evulekile yomphakathi iyakhiwa. Izindawo nezindlela abanazo kungasiza: bhalisela amakilasi ohlobo oluthile lwezemidlalo, bathathe uhambo lwamaqembu njengokuhamba nokuvakashela iminyuziyamu ebalulekile; bhalisa emakilasini enkambweni ehlobene nezinto esizithandayo noma ufunde imisebenzi emisha nehehayo ...
Sebenzisa izinkundla zokuphola eziku-inthanethi. Kuyindlela yokudlala ngothando nokuhlangana nabantu, enamathuba amaningi futhi kuyimfashini. Kepha kufanele wazi ukuthi ungalusebenzisa kanjani lolu hlobo lwesikhulumi, ngoba kunzima ukuba lusizo. Le ndlela isebenza ukuletha abantu eduze kwabanye abangakwazi ukusondela kwabanye, ngezizathu ezahlukahlukene.
Ukuze usebenzise lezi zindlela zokudlala ngothando, Kufanele sikwazi ukubona izisekelo zethu kanye nalokho okwethulwe kithi, ngoba kunokudideka okuningi ngohlobo lwabantu esingahlangana nabo. Singasungula izingxoxo ezibonakalayo futhi sazi ukuthi leli qiniso kufanele lisetshenziswe, senze i-aphoyintimenti mathupha kusasa. Ngakho-ke funa umgomo olula futhi osebenzayo, Kuyinkimbinkimbi kancane, kepha njengomthetho ojwayelekile labo abakhokha okubhaliselwe ngaphakathi kwalawa mawebhusayithi noma izinhlelo zokusebenza kungenxa yokuthi bafuna okuthile okubucayi ngempela.
Ungasibuyekeza kanjani futhi usichasisele okokugcina, Kufanele ubekezele. Ngeminyaka engama-20, imicimbi iyashesha futhi ishubile ngaso sonke isikhathi, kepha ngokuhamba kweminyaka siya sifune kakhulu futhi asikunaki ukubekezela. Uma usuku lokuqala lungahambanga ngendlela ebesilindele ngayo, mhlawumbe lezo eziqhubekayo zingase zikhetheke kakhulu.