Amagama athi "umshado ngaphandle kocansi" aba ngesinye sezisho eziseshwa kakhulu ku-inthanethi. Kuyinto eyenzekayo futhi esivele ivezwe njengeyiqiniso, ngoba imibhangqwana eminingi ayihambisani nalolo hlobo lwenkinga kuze kube yilapho ibandakanyeka kuyo. Ukungabaza ukuthi imibhangqwana ehlangabezana nakho ifika ngokungabaza ukuthi ngabe Lolu hlobo lwesimo lubeka impilo yakho yocansi noma umshado wakho engcupheni.
Ukuze uyihloniphe kakhulu le mininingwane, kuye kwenzeka ukuhlola ukuthi ngabe lokhu kuyiqiniso eligcwele. Impendulo, ngaphambi kwalokhu kungabaza, ikuhlolo futhi kwatholakala ukuthi I-12% yemibhangqwana ebudlelwaneni obuzinzile ibingakaze iye ocansini ezinyangeni ezi-3 ezedlule. Kwakukhona abanye abangu-20% ababengakaze baye ocansini unyaka noma ngaphezulu.
Ingabe le mininingwane iyaveza? Ingabe kuyinto engokoqobo ekhathaza ngokwengeziwe? noma bekulokhu kukhona? Impendulo ayilula. Abanye ochwepheshe bafika kumongo wokuthi ukungayi ocansini phakathi kwabalingani kuba abalingani be-asexual. Abanye bakholelwa ukuthi okuncamelayo ekugcineni lolu hlobo lobudlelwano kumakwe ngendlela esebenzayo neyomuntu siqu phakathi kwabesilisa nabesifazane. Ukusuka kuleli phuzu yilowo nalowo wenza ngejubane lakhe.
Kungani umshado ukhona ngaphandle kocansi?
Ngegama elijwayelekile Lolu hlobo lwesimo luvame ukwenzeka lapho bobabili abashadikazi befika eminyakeni engama-40 ubudala. Yize kunezinto eziningi ezingadala isimilo esinjalo. Akudingekile ukufinyelela kuleyo minyaka ukuze ibe khona, kanye nemibhangqwana eminingi setha ukuzibophezela ngokuba nenzalo futhi ngenxa yalokho wakhe enye indlela yokuphila. Lolu hlobo lwesinqumo lubandakanya ukuba namanye amalungelo nokuziphatha nabalingani babo, izingane lapha zithatha ukugqama okukhulu.
Kunezinye izinto ezibangela ukungayi ocansini. Ukuntuleka kokuxhumana, ukungabi nesifiso, izinkinga zempilo, izinkathazo, ukucindezeleka, ukunqamuka kokuya esikhathini ... kulula ukubeka impilo yakho yocansi eceleni ngenxa yalezi zinto. Kubalulekile ukuthi kube nokuxhumana futhi kukhulunywe ngesimo esinjalo.
Kodwa-ke, futhi njengeseluleko, uma kungenzeka ukuthi omunye wabo azame ukugcina ubudlelwane kanti omunye umuntu akahlanganyeli, ungazami ukuncenga umlingani wakho, ungakhombisi ukuthukuthela okukhulu noma ukukhungatheka. Lokhu kungasibhebhethekisa isimo.
Kunini lapho kunenkinga phakathi kwamaqembu womabili?
Inkinga ikhona uma wazi ukuthi leyo nkinga ikhona bese uyathula. Kunzima ukuzenza umuntu okhulumayo bese uyakuletha, kepha njalo kufanele uzame ukuzibeka esimweni somunye umuntu.
Kuvele kube yinkinga lapho ukukhuluma kungathandwa futhi umuntu akazami ukukhuluma ngezifiso zakhe, izinhloso zakho, okucabangayo noma okudingayo. Yilapho kufika ukungathembeki njengoba umuntu othintekile ebeka izizathu zokuthi akasazizwa efiswa, ugcina ethatha lolu hlobo lwenhloso futhi agcine ephula ubuhlobo
Ingabe umshado ongena ocansini uyajabula?
Yize kubonakala kungenakwenzeka noma kungaqondakali Imibhangqwana eminingi ekulesi sikhundla iyajabula. Lolu hlobo lwezithandani Basinda kuqala ngenhlonipho futhi bafuna ezinye izinhlobo zezinye izindlela. Okubalulekile nokusemqoka ukusungula ukuxhumana okujulile, okuqotho nokuqondile ngale ndaba hhayi ukuyishiya njengesihloko esiyindatshana.
Lezi zinhlobo zemibhangqwana ziyakujabulela ukuchitha isikhathi sazo zenza ezinye izinhlobo zemisebenzi njengokuhamba, ukuphuma nokuhlanganyela izikhathi ezisondelene, ukuxhumana nemvelo, ukuphuma uyodla isidlo sakusihlwa, ukuhlala usuku nosuku nezingane zakho, njll.
Eminye imibhangqwana ijabule futhi ibe nokuphila kocansi okungasebenzi kangako. Abaningi babo baya ocansini kanye ngonyaka ukugubha usuku lokugubha usuku, futhi ngalokho bazizwa beneliseke kakhulu kunalabo abajwayele ukuya ocansini bengazizwa lutho. Kungakho ochwepheshe bebheka lolu hlobo lomkhuba ngokuya ngokuthi bakuthatha kuphi njengokujwayelekile "ukuya ocansini. Njengoba Awukwazi ukukhuluma kaningi lapho uya ocansini futhi umuntu ngamunye wehlukile.
Inkinga iba khona lapho kunokushoda kokuzwana ngaphakathi kokusondelana. Uma elinye lamaqembu linquma ukuba nobudlelwano obuningi nomlingani walo futhi kunokungahambisani, kungahle kube nokunqamuka futhi yingakho izingxabano.
Uma ufuna ukushintsha, kuyindaba yesikhathi nokuzikhandla
Lapho ukuqina komkhuba kwehlisiwe noma sekuvele kungasebenzi kungaba nokumelana okukhulu nokuphinda uthathe lokho kusondelana futhi. Phakathi kwale mibhangqwana, izikhathi ezisondelene, ukuqabulana nokuqabulana kulahlekile ezimweni eziningi futhi ukuthatha lezi zenzo futhi kungahunyushwa kabi.
Ukuzama ukwesabisa umlingani wakho kungangakhululeki futhi cishe kungcono ukuthi ivele futhi ivele ngokuzenzekelayo, ngaphandle kokuya ephuzwini ngqo. Kufanele uzame ukuphakamisa ithoni ngendlela engokwenyama noma ngokwanga okunothando, kepha okungenani zama.
Kuyisimo esinzima ukusithatha futhi kusukela lapho imibhangqwana eminingi isijwayele ukuhlala ngaphandle kocansi futhi ayisakuphutheli. Impela bafinyelele esiphethweni sokuthi bangayithokozela impilo yabo ngaphandle kocansi, okungafani nokuba nenkinga, futhi bayasivuma isimo sabo. Lolu hlobo lwabantu bahlala futhi bahlala ngaphakathi kwendilinga yama-asexuals , ngaphandle kokubeka phambili ucansi.