Akukho kudelela umntu okungaphezu kokungabi naluxabiso, kwaye kule meko unokuba nguwe ocingayo. Ukuba kukho umntu okufutshane, egxininise yonke ingqalelo yakhe kuwe, yiloo nto esiyibiza ngayo ngokusebenza "iliso elibi". Kodwa ukuba endaweni yokuqhubela phambili nokulibala malunga nezenzo zabo, ukhetha ukuphendula kwizenzo zabo, ngoko kufuneka sigxininise uthini emntwini xa ethetha kakubi ngawe.
Ukuthetha kakubi ngomntu Inokubhengezwa ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo. Ingenziwa ngokungaziwa kwaye ithathe ithuba leintanethi zentlalo, okanye ngokucacileyo, ukugxeka izenzo zomnye umntu xa ukunye nabahlobo okanye usapho.
Yintoni omele uyenze xa umntu ethetha kakubi emva kwakho?
Njengoko sichazile kwimigca edlulileyo, umntu Ungayenza ngokungaziwa okanye ngokucacileyo. Ngokubanzi, le fomu embi inokufikelela ezindlebeni zexhoba kwaye indlela asabela ngayo inokuba ngobuqhophololo.
Umona sesona sizathu, ibisoloko ikho yaye emva kwayo abantu banokwenzakaliswa. Iqala ngokudala amahemuhemu kunye nokuthetha kakubi ngomzimba wakhe. Umntu okhathazekileyo usenokusabela ngeempendulo ezimbi okanye ngokusebenzisa impendulo engqongqo nengenakulibaleka. Kodwa sinokwenza ntoni xa umntu ethetha kakubi ngathi?
- Ngaphezu kwakho konke, kufuneka uhlale uzolile kwaye unganikeli ukubaluleka. Akukho kudelela okungaphezu kokungabonisi uxabiso, sesikhe sayikhankanya ngaphambili, kwaye loo nto inokubangela ukubhideka komnye umntu. Ukunika inyani yokunika ukubaluleka kwizimvo zakho, kuya kuba ngokuchaseneyo, kuya kukunika ukwaneliseka. Ngoko ke, musa ukucinga ukuba yintoni ebangela oko.
- Xa uphambi kwaloo mntu ukugxekayo, zama ukugcina ukuma kwentlonipho kunye nobubele. Ukuba uvumela umsindo okanye ukungonwabi kukuhlasela, kunokuba kubi kakhulu, kuba amacala amabini anokudala apho kuya kubakho iingxoxo kunye neemvakalelo ezimbi kuphela.
- Musa ukuwela kumdlalo wabo ofanayo okanye ungaphakami kubo. Oko kuya kuba kukuwela emgibeni. Ukuba wenza izinto ezifanayo naloo mntu, uwela nje kumgibe wabo, baya kukukhuthaza ukuba ukhuphe okubi kakhulu kuwe.
Injongo kukuphelisa oku, akunjalo? Ewe, makhe sibone ukuba oku kungquzulana kunokupheliswa njani.
- Cinga kakuhle. Siyazi ukuba kunzima kakhulu ukugxila ebusweni benyaniso enjalo, kodwa ukwenza oko kuphendula kakuhle kwaye kuya kunceda ukukhupha oku kuphazamiseka ngokufanelekileyo ngokunjalo.
- Thetha nabantu abakucebise ngala marhe. Ngale ndlela unokwazi ngokuthe ngqo oko loo mntu uceba ukukwenza nokuba amagqabaza akhe afikelela kude kangakanani na. Ngokuchasene nesizathu into oyivileyo kuloo mntu kunye nenyani, kufuneka uzame ukuxoxa apho umbono wenyani wento eyenzekayo.
Thetha nomntu othetha kakubi ngawe
Musa ukoyika ukuthetha naloo mntu. phefumlela phezulu ngaphandle kokuvumela umsindo ukuba udle kwaye uzame ukugcina lonke ikratshi lakho. Uloyiko lwakho luya kukunika kude kwaye kufuneka ubambe umhlaba wakho ukuzingca ngendlela oyiyo, impumelelo yakho kunye nobuntu bakho. Akukho mntu kufuneka ahlasele umntu wakho.
Mbuze imibuzo enokusekela uhlalutyo lwakhe. Ngubani oye wakuvisa ubuhlungu obungaka? Mbuze into anayo engqondweni, apho analoo mpixano yangaphakathi kwaye kutheni eyikhuphela ngaphandle ngolu hlobo.
Ungawathetha amabinzana athile ukuze uwagcine engqondweni. Unokumxelela ukuba ukuba uyaqhubeka kule ndlela, egxeka kwaye ethetha kakubi, kwixesha elizayo impumelelo yabo isenokusilela. Oko kuthetha ukuba kukho abantu abagxile kakhulu kwiimpumelelo zabanye abantu kangangokuba abayijongi indlela ezizezabo, beze kude kude nesakhono sabo.
Ukuba imeko iye yaba shushu zolani, musa ukumhlasela. Siyazi ukuba eyona mpendulo kukubuyisela iimpendulo ezimbi, uphakamise ilizwi lakho kwaye ude uthethe izithuko okanye iziqalekiso, kodwa ziyaphikisana ngokupheleleyo.
Hlala wehlile, musa ukukhukuliswa ziimvakalelo ukuba ibe negative, kufuneka ubonise umgangatho womntu onguye. Olu luvumo olude lohlobo lwesibindi onokuthi ulubonise kwaye awuyoyiki nantoni na ezayo kuwe. Y okokuqala ungancami. Hlala ubonisa ukuba unesibindi kwaye akukho mntu unokukoyisa.
Ukujongana nolu hlobo lwemeko, kufuneka ufumane imida ngolu hlobo lwabantu, abo bathetha kakubi ngabanye, nangona isifundo singahambi nawe. Bangabantu abanetyhefu kwaye akukho nto bayenzayo ngaphandle kokuthetha ngabanye ngenxa yokuba banomona. Musa ukuchitha ixesha ngobuntwana kwaye uzame ukwenza abanye baqonde yintoni intsingiselo intlonipho kunye novelwano. Xa loo mntu engafuni ukulandela ezi zikhokelo, kungcono ukuba ahambe ngendlela yakhe.