Tabbas wani lokaci a rayuwarku kuna so ku kasance tare da wani kuma kuyi jima'i da shi ko ita kuma jin daɗin ya kasance mai maimaitawa ne. Koyaya, ko dai saboda yanayin waje ko samun abokin tarayya ko abokai tare da wasu manufofi, ba ku sami ikon cika burinku ko ɗayan ba. Wannan shi ake kira rikicewar rikicewar jima'i. Labari ne game da sha'awar mutane biyu ga ɗayan kuma cewa ba haka lamarin yake ba aka cika shi.
A cikin wannan labarin zamuyi bayanin abin da wannan tashin hankalin jima'i da ba'a warware ba shine kuma yana da kyau a warware shi ko a'a. Kuna so ku sani game da shi? Ci gaba da karatu.
Menene tashin hankalin jima'i da ba a warware ba
Gaskiyar jin sha'awar jima'i ga wani ba ya sanya ku cikin tashin hankali na jima'i. Kowa na iya son ganin kansa a gado tare da wani mutum da suke ganin sha'awa ko sha'awa. Koyaya, tashin hankali na jima'i yana faruwa ne lokacin da jin ya faru a cikin mutanen biyu. A wannan yanayin, muna magana ne game da kasancewar sha'awar jima'i ga ɗayan kuma cewa, saboda yanayin da ba sa cikin ikon kowane ɗayan, ba za a iya warware shi ba.
Lokacin da muka sami kanmu a cikin waɗannan yanayi, al'ada ne cewa shakku dubu da ɗaya sun tashi game da abin da ya kamata mu yi. Samun wani mutum yana son yin lalata da kai da ku da ita amma ba ku da damuwa kuma, a wasu lokuta, tsokanar rai. Har yaushe zaku so yin lalata da ni? Yana daga cikin tambayoyin da muke yiwa kanmu lokacin da muke tsoron rasa wannan sha'awar ga ɗayan.
Wata tambaya da ta taso kuma wannan, mai yiwuwa, fiye da ɗaya sun jefa baya yayin yanke shawara shine, menene idan na karya sihirin wannan jan hankali ta hanyar warware tashin hankali na jima'i? Kuma shine watakila mutumin da muke sha'awar bazai zama abin da muke tsammani ba. A lokuta da yawa, tunanin zai iya yin wayo. Wannan shine lokacin da muka fara tunani game da duk matsayin da zamu iya yi da ɗayan a cikin gado da kuma yadda kyakkyawan jima'i zai yi da ku. Koyaya, kuna iya yin baƙin ciki idan turawa tazo.
Yadda ake gano tashin hankalin jima'i wanda ba a warware shi ba
Kafin sanin ko da gaske muna da tashin hankali na jima'i wanda ba a warware shi ba (TSNR), dole ne mu san da kyau yadda za mu kama alamun da ɗayan yake mana. Muna tuna cewa wannan tashin hankali ba za a iya warware shi ba saboda kowane irin dalili. Wato, irin wannan tashin hankali yawanci yakan faru ne a cikin mutane tare da abokin tarayya ko abokai har ma da abokan aiki. Ko da kana da abokin tarayya, babu makawa ka kalli wasu mutane don tunanin yadda abin zai kasance idan kayi jima'i da su. Wannan ba zai sa ku sami matsala ta jima'i da kowa ba, amma dole ne ya kasance wani abu ne na sakewa.
Don samun damar gano wannan gaskiyar, dole ne ku san yadda ake kama siginonin. Abu na farko shine, idan muka ga ɗayan, muna jin ƙuƙumi a cikin ciki. Abin ji ne kwatankwacin wanda kuke dashi yayin da kuke soyayya. Wannan shine dalilin da yasa mutane da yawa suke rikitar da jin daɗi kuma suka ƙare da lalata shi kuma suka ƙare da abokin tarayya. Da zarar ta gama wannan sha'awar ta jima'i, sai ta yi nadama saboda ba ta da ƙauna, amma tana da TSNR.
Yana da kyau numfashinmu ya hanzarta yayin da muke wannan mutumin kusa kuma har ma muna yin ja yayin magana da su. Yana da kyau, a cikin tunaninku kowane irin tunanin batsa yana gudana game da abin da zaku iya yi masa a gado. Amma yana yiwuwa abin da kake tsammani ba zai taba faruwa ba.
Don gano idan ɗayan yana jin irin ku, dole ne a binciki sigina a matakin ɗabi'a. Misali, mai yiyuwa ne ku firgita yayin kasancewa tare ko aikata halaye marasa son rai kamar kauda ido ga juna, taba gashin ku lokacin da kuke kusa ko sanya jimloli tare da niyya biyu.
Me ke sa TSNR ya kasance?
Ba wai kawai za mu ga abin da ke haifar da wannan tashin hankali na jima'i ba, amma kuma za mu ga abin da ke kiyaye shi. Da farko dai so ne. Lokacin da muke sha'awar wani, daidai ne mu so yin lalata da ita. Koyaya, muna sake jaddada cewa akwai mutane da yawa waɗanda suka ƙare da mummunan aiki tare da abokan su suna tunanin cewa abin da suka ji game da wannan mutumin shine ƙauna ba so ba. Dole abubuwa suyi tsada sosai.
Karya "doka." Kasancewa da mutanen banza wani lokacin abin sha'awa ne. Ba daidai bane cin amanar abokin tarayya da cutar dasu, amma wannan aikin na "tawaye" na son sanin yadda mutumin yake a cikin gado yana kai mu ga gwada shi da yin kuskure.
Ta hanyar samun martani daga ɗayan mutum muna son ci gaba da haɓaka wannan son kai na sanin cewa wani yana neman mu. Bayan abubuwan da suka faru, "wawa," kalmomin masu tunani biyu, da ci gaba da motsa tunanin mutum, tashin hankalin jima'i da ba a warware shi yana ci gaba da ciyarwa na dogon lokaci.
A matsayin gaskiya mai ban sha'awa, zamu iya cewa wurin da yafi TSNR yake aiki. Wannan saboda mutane dole ne su nuna mafi tsanani da ɗaukar nauyi a cikin aikinsu kuma a lokuta da yawa tare da kayan ɗamara da komai. Wannan hujja tana sanya su son ƙetare ƙa'idar da kuma tsallake dukkan shinge don "tabbatar" da yadda mutumin zai kasance a wajen aikinsa. Wato, yanayin gaske.
Shin ya kamata a warware tashin hankalin jima'i da ba a warware ba?
Kuna iya yiwa kanku wannan tambayar sau da sau. Koyaya, idan wannan TSRN ya auku saboda akwai wani dalili da yasa baza'a iya warware shi ba. Idan wannan dalilin shine saboda kuna da abokin tarayya, kuyi tunani sosai a baya kuma ku sanya kanku a madadin abokin zama. Ka yi tunanin cewa ita ce take yi maka. Kuna so? Shin za ku iya jurewa? Yana da mahimmanci a tsabtace tunaninka kuma, saboda wannan, zai fi kyau a masturbate tunani game da mutumin da yake jan hankalin ku sosai. Bari tunanin ku ya tashi ya gama wannan TSNR ɗin a zuciyar ku. Wannan hanyar ba zaku cutar da kowa ba.
Ta yin wannan, ba za ku karya abubuwan da kuke tsammani na wannan mutumin ba. Kamar yadda muka ambata a baya, yana iya yiwuwa, lokacin da turawa ta zo yin ihu, wannan mutumin zai ba ka kunya a kan gado kuma sihiri zai karye. Tabbas a cikin tunanin ku zaku sami ƙarin yanayin.
Idan a wani bangaren kana son daukar kasada na magance shi Dole ne kuyi tunani game da ko ya shafi aiki, dangantakarku ko dangantakarku da kanta.
Ina fatan cewa tare da waɗannan nasihun zaka iya gane TSNR ɗin ka kuma zaɓi abin da zaka yi da kyau.